SAA Ep. #56: Airing of Christmas Grievances

Wow, so I'm a poopy head (sorry, I work with kids) for not blogging as much as usual.  My schedule is insane what with Thanksgiving and Christmas and all of that.  To be honest, with everything going on, I really haven't had much time to have awkward moments about which to blog.  Instead of having adventures, I've been plopped down on the couch watching seasons of Psych from Netflix, whilst knitting fuzzy scarves.  And unless I unknowingly cater to an audience that considers adventures in knitting to be exciting, I really don't think that would be good blogging material.

So yeah.  Christmas is coming, and if you know me, I love Christmas.  I love just about everything about Christmas.  I love Christmas music.  I love Christmas lights.  I love Christmas movies.  I love Christmas food.  I love the crazy people that shop at Christmas time.  I love it all. 

And if you're one of those people who thinks that it's too soon for a Christmas blog, let me tell you that I've been impatiently waiting for months.  Months, I tell you.  If I had my way, people would start putting up lights and listening to Christmas music in September.  They wouldn't take down the lights or stop listening to Christmas music until March.  And every summer, there would be a solid month of Christmas in July celebrations.  What?  You say that Christmas in July would interfere with the Fourth of July?  Why can't we have a combination Christmas/Fourth of July parade?  Why can't we have Christmas in July fireworks?  "Yankee Doodle Dandy" isn't nearly as awesome as "Joy to the World."  But yeah, I guess the rest of the world doesn't love Christmas as much as I do.

So I wait.  I wait until the rest of the world says it's okay to celebrate Christmas.  I don't care if you think this Christmas blog is early; it's after Thanksgiving, so it's considered acceptable.  I've waited long enough, and nobody's gonna tell me I can't celebrate CHRISTMAS as much as I want to!

But even an amazing season like Christmas has a few problems.  I don't like the cold, but you know, I don't mind it at Christmastime.  It's the months of winter that follow Christmas that make me want to crawl into a hole and hibernate until spring. 

So is there anything that I really just don't like about Christmas?  Yes.  Yes, there are actually two things I don't like about Christmas, and they're related.  One of them isn't so bad if it's done well, but the other one just makes me mad.

The first grievance I have about Christmas are those silly "White Elephant Dirty SantaYankee Swap" games.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm talking about that game where everyone brings a wrapped gift to a party and everyone draws a number.  Then the person with the first number chooses a gift and unwraps it.  The person with the next number gets to either unwrap another gift or steal the gift from the person whose already opened one.  Then the person who had their gift stolen has to open another gift (or steal from another player).  And people go around unwrapping gifts and stealing them from one another until the last gift is unwrapped. 

Some people find this game a lot of fun, but I just think it's annoying.  I think the point of the game is to have fun, but I don't think it's fun to steal.  I also don't think it's fun to have things stolen from me.  I've done these games several times, and I've seldom enjoyed them.  There are a few exceptions--like the time I had the last number, so I just went ahead and opened the last present so the blasted game could be over--and I ended up with this:

...a blue disembodied hand...just what I always wanted...

And I have to say that I actually had a lot of fun playing this game at my preschool teachers' Christmas party last year.  I think the reason that I liked it so much was because everyone knew what they were bringing (and what they were getting).  Last year, everyone was supposed to bring a coffee mug, so no matter what, you knew you were also going home with a coffee mug.  Except one person misunderstood and brought a pair of aloe-infused socks.  You'd better believe everyone tried to steal those!  This year, everyone is actually supposed to bring socks, but I'm sure at least one person will be going home with a coffee mug.

I'd like to say that having everyone bring the same gift to a "White Elephant" exchange is a really great idea, but I remember one time when the English honor society at my college (Sigma Tau Delta--STD!  It's Contagious!) had a Christmas party and everyone was supposed to bring a book.  I brought a classic--Hunchback of Notre Dame.  And then I got my hands on a wonderful book of Emily Dickinson poetry.  Well, when the game was over, someone shouted, "Now everyone can steal whatever they want!" (which is so NOT an official rule--in fact, it's cheating!), and one of the professors stole my Emily Dickinson poetry book and left me with one of those books that gives you Bible verses for specific subject matters that you can buy in dollar stores.  So, yeah, totally bad experience with the book thing.  So, I guess what I'm saying is, "White Elephant" gift exchanges work great as long as everyone brings the same thing, and as long as people play by the rules, and as long as one of the people playing isn't a jerky professor who steals my Emily Dickinson poetry book (go buy your own copy with your teacher's discount and leave me alone!!!).

Now, the other thing I hate about Christmas is that atrocity known as "Secret Santa" (or "Secret Sisters" or whatever). *Shudder*  I guess some people get a kick out of these things, but they actually make me pretty cranky.  I always figure out whose giving me gifts, and the person I'm giving gifts to always figures out it's me.  So by the end of it, we're all just telling each other, "Hey, *wink wink hint hint* why don't you get me one of those, 'Secret' Santa."  And even if I don't figure out who my person is, I still don't really enjoy it.  We get a list of things that our person likes and doesn't like, but it's not a whole lot to go on, especially when there's a set price limit.  So I always feel guilty when I have to get lame stuff for my person.  And then there's always the people who go WAY overboard and over budget on their gifts.  And so, someone always leaves with a huge stash of awesome stuff, making everyone else say, "I wish I had HER Secret Santa.  All my lame Secret Santa got me was a pair of aloe-infused socks."

But you know, I guess that's okay, because you can always bring the socks to the next "White Elephant" game.