It's a pretty well known fact that technology and I aren't really good happy friends, but lately things have just gone completely crazy-go-nuts. I've come to the conclusion that technology is allergic to me.
I haven't had home internet access since this past summer, but that's not a big deal. I can always go to the library and use their free interwebs. And that way, I also get to mingle with all the other poor fools who don't have home internet, or who, for whatever reason (coughinsanitycough), just really like public computers. No, it's not so bad, especially if you like kids who have no concept of personal space and who loudly fart as they're hysterically playing their Nick Jr. games online while mommy sits in the corner grabbing a free half-hour to read her grownsup novels. ...or if you like large boy-men in their mid forties who mutter to themselves while playing online video games that their mommies said they couldn't play in the basement anymore. ...or if you just like having to wait in line to get a half hour to check your facebook. No. Not so bad. Just keep telling yourself...not. so. bad.
Also, earlier this year the cord to my camera broke, which was almost a good thing. My camera was used when I got it. I got it in 2005. So maybe an upgrade wouldn't be a bad idea. But I was too broke to get a new camera. I used the camera on my phone, but I didn't have a cord for it either. And since my phone was not smart, I kind of needed the cord to get anything off it.
But I'm glad I didn't invest in a cord, because recently, my phone died the death. I figured it wasn't a big deal, and I started using my old Razor. Don't laugh. The Motorola Razor was the stuff...back in 2007. Now...it's like an antique. And it's really hard to text on that thing. Do NOT take your qwerty keypads for granted, people. But THAT doesn't matter anymore, because now my old Razor, the epitome of phones back in 2007, has decided that it's too cool to send texts. For a while, it decided it was too cool to even receive texts, but I punched it in the face. Now it will let me see my texts, as long as they're not those fancy shmancy new fangled picture texts. It's way too cool for THOSE.
And it isn't like I ever got good phone service anyway. I have always had horrible phone reception in my apartment. I figured it was because I lived in a black hole that ate cell phone reception for breakfast. But I have come to realize as of late that whatever it is that keeps eating my cell phone reception only likes to eat cell phone signals from my current provider.
I like my provider, for the most part. I don't want anyone to think I have any hard feelings against them whatsoever. I'm not even going to say their name on this blog, lest someone harbor hard feelings against them on my behalf. Let's call this cell phone service provider BS&S.
Since a) my phone stopped working AND my back up phone stopped working well AND my other back up phone (a pre-Razor flip phone that makes me feel like I'm signalling Scotty on the U.S.S. Enterprise to beam me up) wasn't working AND neither of the TWO phones I borrowed wanted to work for me either (technology is allergic to me), I decided it was time to get a new phone, and b) BS&S wasn't working for me either, I decided it was time to get a new phone service. I'm still on my family plan with BS&S, and so I asked my dad to look into cancelling the plan. I knew my contract with them doesn't expire till the end of this month, but when my dad talked to the nice people at the store, they said I could get out of my contract early.
So I did my research and decided to go with a new prepaid plan from Walmart, because let's face it, I'm a Walmart kinda girl. Their StraightTalk phones use different providers, so I made sure I was getting a phone that didn't use BS&S. I made sure I got a phone that used the same cell towers as my new roommate, because she gets excellent reception. It's not a dumb phone. It's a Smart Phone. In fact, it's probably smarter than I am.
Now, I had to call BS&S to cancel my service before I could set up my new phone and StraightTalk plan (because I want to keep my old number--just because I'm lazy and stuff). Well, BS&S was all like, "You no can has." My dad called them, too, reminding them that he'd been told the contract could be cancelled early. My dad also reminded them that he'd already paid the bill through the end of the contract, so they had their money and everything. BS&S was all like, "I'm sorry, Dave, I'm afraid we can't do that...unless you pay us $60 bucks in cancellation fees." I was like, "Can't you cut me a break, because my dumb phone broke and my even older dumb phone has a talking bird in it like on the Flinstones, and I would really like to be able to use my new awesome Smart Phone. It's Christmas, after all!" They were all like, "We own your butt until December 28. Merry Christmas." Please remember, I hold NO ill will against BS&S. None. At all. Just keep telling yourself...none...at...all.
So basically, I'm going to be flipping open my awesome retro only barely functioning Razor for another couple weeks. It's not so bad. I mean, the way I see it, they'll be using them in the future. Captain Kirk will be using them to tell Scotty to beam him up. And then, Captain Picard will get the great idea to have people wear badges that have communicators inside of them. In fact, I'm going to just beat the trend and start wearing my cell phone on my shirt.
...or I'll just keep using my old Razor that won't let me text for a couple more weeks. And just keep telling myself it's not. so. bad.
