I can make just about any animal sound you could ever possibly want to hear. My dog and cat impression have fooled dogs and cats around the continental United States--and also a puppy in Thailand. I can convincingly imitate a horse, a cow, a sheep, a goat (those last two have subtle differences only the experienced animal imitator can hear), a frog, a piggy, and a monkey. My velociraptor is the stuff of legend. My elephant imitation has a cult following.
Simply put, you haven't lived until you've heard my rendition of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm."
I could have been a cartoon voice. I could have been a secret agent. But no, no. I'm using my mad skills only to entertain the children I care for. ...at least that's what I'm telling you. If I told you anything else, I might have to kill you.
My expertise isn't limited to animal sounds. I'm a true first soprano, which means I can imitate lots of really high noises, but I'm versatile enough to have been told by more than one person that I'm the best female Sean Connery impersonator they've ever heard. If you know me in real life and ask me to demonstrate this unique ability, please note that I will pretend I have no idea what you're talking about.
However, there is one sound that I have never been able to duplicate. I hear other people making this noise, and it fills me with shame. With all the sounds I have mastered, why does this one sound still elude me?
No matter how hard I try, I can't sound like Chewbacca from Star Wars. My best attempt sounded sort of like a seal giving birth.
And I'm not sure whether to be embarrassed because I can't sound like Chewbacca, or if I should be embarrassed because I'm embarrased that I can't sound like Chewbacca.
It's okay. I'm awesome enough to be embarrassed about both of these things at the same time.
We seem to have a fair amount in common. I can imitate any accent I hear and do pretty good animal and bird sounds, too. I'm still holding onto that dream of being a voice for a character in an animated movie.
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