You Say "Obsessed" Like It's a Bad Thing (Part Two: RPGs)

Before continuing with this obsession blog series (that is going to end with this part, because I realized after the fact that it's a really stupid idea), I'd like to apologize.  First, because the first part of this was long and boring.  Second, because I haven't written a socially awkward blog post in over a week!  I have excuses and explanations for this, but really, no one cares.  I think that might actually be my next SAA blog: No one cares.  I don't promise it will be the most hilarious thing ever, but it stands a good chance of being funnier than the food obsession blog, and it's guaranteed to be funnier than personally getting hit by a bus. 

Right.

So.

I'm not usually allowed to play computer games.

I'm 31 years old, so it's not like I have to have parental permission to play computer games.  My roommate owns the computer on which I am typing, and I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate me using it to play computer games, but she doesn't have any specific rules. 

The person who doesn't allow me to play computer games (usually) is ME. 

The reason I'm not allowed to play computer games is because I'm the sort of person who forgets to eat, forgets to sleep, forgets to live in the REAL world while she's playing computer games.  Now, we're not talking solitaire.  I can play a 2 minute game of cards without getting caught up in the wild, wild card flippin' action.  In fact, solitaire and repetitive games like that are sometimes good for me because they give my eyes and hands something easy to do while my brain is busy inventing stories and working out plot details--or else just working out details of my crazy crazy life. 

If the game has a plot.  If the game has a story line.  If the game has an objective that requires pretending I'm another person in a new set of circumstances, forgedduhboudit.  I'm a goner.  I can't play these games without getting absolutely addicted.

I know this because I spent probably a couple years of my life playing different role playing games (RPGs) on the computer.  I didn't get into the card games such as Dungeons and Dragons, but man oh man, I was into some of the similar type computer games.  I was all about fake questing it as a Ranger or an Enchanter, traveling with a "party" of fake people through mystical realms, fighting creatures and learning new mad skills.  Friends?  Social life?  Adequate sleep?  Who needed such things!?  I just gained 302 experience points by killing a giant spider!  Woo Hoo!  Dream big!

I even got way into those text based adventure games.  Remember those?  Zork?  The Colossal Cave?  No graphix?  No problem!  "--Hit troll."  "-What do you want to hit the troll with?"  "--Hit troll with sword."  "-You hit the troll with the Splendid Sword.  The Troll eats you.  You have died."  Oh, I love those things.  They're so 80's-riffic, but it turns out that people still write them.  They still have a following.  In fact, I want to write one, but since I'm not allowed to play them anymore, that dream will probably never come true.  But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Yeah.  Eventually I realized how pathetic I had become in my RPG addiction obsession problem fascination.  And I realized that I had to do something drastic or I'd end up living in my parents' house forever so I could not work and still support my gaming habit.  Okay, so I believe my parents actually love me more than that--if I hadn't kicked the habit myself, they would have kicked it for me--by kicking my butt out the front door and making me get a job.  Instead, I kicked myself out by going back to school.  Because I wanted an education that didn't involve beating up zombies.

Only, I have a small confession.  Sometimes I play this game called Plants VS. Zombies.  And sometimes I still beat up zombies.  It's not an RPG, so I can play a level and stop (ANYTIME I WANT, I TELL YOU!).  I can resume my real life, which is mostly zombie free.

It's just that sometimes, when life turns into a monotonous series of actions, I find myself reminiscing those RPG days.  I go to work and stop a kid from crying.  38 experience points.  I swat the elusive fly that's been buzzing around the kitchen for three days.  107 experience points.  I manage to find an hour to write in the middle of a day that's packed with 2-3 jobs.  203 experience points.  I go grocery shopping.  432 experience points.  I successfully pick up/drop off all three kids to whatever soccer practice or after school activity they have without going absolutely bonkers.  3,598 experience points.

I'm well on my way to gaining a new level and getting some more attribute points to spend!  Hmm...I think I could use a little more wisdom.

SAA Ep.# 49: You Say "Obsession" Like It's a Bad Thing (Part One: FOOD)

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a person asks me how I'm doing, and when I reply that I'm "fine" or "okay," the person immediately asks why I'm "just fine" or "just okay," as if there's something horrifically wrong if I'm not "SUPER DUPER!" or something.  The reason for this is that when I'm doing "fine" or "okay," it's actually a very, very good thing. 

I don't think I'm manic-depressive/bipolar or anything that extreme, but my emotional range tends to be, shall we say, kind of dramatic.  When I'm happy, I'm not just happy, I'm OH-MY-GOSH-THIS-IS-THE-GREATEST-DAY-OF-MY-LIFE-CAN'T-YOU-JUST-SMELL-THE-SUNSHINE-AND-FEEL-THE-FLOWERS-AND-SEE-THE-BIRDS-SING-AND-HEAR-THE-RAINBOWS-WHY-CAN'T-I-JUST-BUY-EVERYONE-A-GAZBILLION-STRAWBERRY-SCENTED-PUPPIES sort of happy.  When I'm sad, I'm not just sad, I'm I-HATE-EVERYTHING-SO-GO-AWAY-AND-JUST-LET-ME-LAY-IN-BED-ALL-DAY-AND-EAT-UNHEALTHY-FOOD-UNTIL-I-EXPLODE-TO-DEATH-AND-TAKE-THE-REST-OF-THIS-WRETCHED-WRETCHED-WORLD-OUT-WITH-ME sort of sad.  The good thing about these emotional extremes is that they don't seem to last very long, and I can go from the depths of despair to the awesomest of happies within, oh, about ten minutes.  So, I've learned not to rely on emotions a whole lot.

I try to aim for a nice even emotional state, which is what most people call "fine" or "okay."  "Fine" and "okay" are safe.  They don't depress anyone, nor do they scare people.  So I aim for being fine, because someone as overly passionate as I am needs to be "just okay" sometimes.  Or most of the time.

I've also learned that I need to keep a pretty close watch on my hobbies and interests.  Since I do have a tendency to be overly passionate, I rarely just like things.  I become obsessed with them.  Since I've been obsessed with quite a few things, I'm going to split this SAA Episode into two or three (or possibly four) parts.  For the remainder of this part, I'm going to talk about one of my biggest obsessions.

Most of my obsessions are food related, and I'm actually pretty convinced I have a food addiction.  Please understand, I'm not making light of eating disorders.  I was a psychology minor, so I am well aware that eating disorders can be very serious.  I think I might even have a minor compulsive overeating problem.  So when I say that I have a food addiction, I'm being serious.  It's something I've struggled with my whole life (when I was a teenager, I used to eat until I was full and then go take alka-seltzer so I could burp and eat some more...which is really sick, now that I think about it).  It's just that I tend to see the humor in everything, which includes my own personal eating habits.  I'm not picking on anyone here besides myself. 

And I find it slightly ironic that with food addictions, you can't just go cold turkey (unless that means you're on some kind of weird cold turkey diet).  With drug or alcohol addictions, a person who overcomes the addiction often must completely abstain from the drug or alcohol.  You can't do that with food.  If you stop eating, you eventually die.  So I've had to be super-disciplined in my eating habits, and that's hard.

Cuz I like food.

I think my top ten food obsessions are as follows (in no particular order):

1) Chocolate.  If I have to explain why, then you'll never understand.

2) White Tic Tacs.  I've managed to cut back to about 2 packs a week.  I keep these in the car and eat about twenty of them when I come to a red light.  I've often wondered if other drivers get concerned when they see me popping these little white pill shaped objects. It probably does look suspicious, but I can't help myself.  I just can't get enough of their minty goodness.  They're even better in the spring/summer months because when they heat up in my car, it brings out this amazing warm vanilla flavor that contrasts just perfectly with the cool mint.  Shut the front door! They're amazing.  Plus, I have fresh mint breath ALL the time.

3) Cookies.  Again, if I have to explain why, then you'll never understand.

4) Cupcakes. See 1 and 3.

5) Autumn Mix. Oh, sweet Moses! It's a good thing this stuff only comes out in the autumn, or I'd be a much fatter person.  There's something oddly addictive about the little white, yellow, and orange candy corns combined with the brown and orange candy corns that taste as if they once brushed up against something that might have been made out of a vaguely chocolatey substance.  Add in those sugar-coma inducing mallowcreme pumpkins, and you've got a recipe for made-with-real-honey (really, is that the healthiest claim you can make?) amazingness.

6) Pasta. This.  This is the reason I could never go low-carb.  I'm not a huge bread eater.  I'm not big on cereal.  But I have to have my pasta, or I will hurt someone.

7) Cheese.  Is life without cheese even worth living?  Sometimes I think about how much I like cheese, and it makes me want to cry tears of joy.  Thank you, whoever thought of making something tasty out of old milk.

8) Raspberries/Blueberries.  Raspberries were my favorite berry for years, but now they actually are tied with blueberries.  The fact that I have a favorite berry competition going on in my head should tell you something about me.  I'm not sure what it should tell you, but it should tell you something.

9) Ice cream.  See 1, 3, and 4.  And 9.  I think my favorite kind is Neapolitan b/c you get three, three, three flavors in one!

10) Pumpkin Pie. Include this one with numbers 3 and 5, and you might have an idea as to why I typically gain 10 pounds near Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I think pumpkin pie is my favorite dessert--even if you consider all the desserts made from chocolate.  Seriously.  A nice chilled piece of pumpkin pie with a huge dollop of Cool Whip might be the closest thing to heaven on earth.  It's so good, it'll make you wanna slap your mama.


And lest you think I'm done, my honorable mentions for food obsessions include: toast (I'm not a huge bread fan, but burning bread makes it taste a kazmillion times better.  I don't know why, but it does), sunflower seeds, Greek yogurt, Rice Krispies Treats, tomatoes, oatmeal creme pies, Quaker Life Bars (they call them Life bars b/c you can live off them...and b/c they're made from Life cereal), Cream Cheese, green beans, dill pickles (I'm pretty sure I once ate a whole jar of these in my sleep), rockamole, peanut butter, white chocolate covered pretzels, muffins, cilantro (what do you mean I'm not supposed to put it in EVERYTHING??), Krispy Kreme Raspberry Jelly Filled Donuts, grilled chicken, Goldfish Colors! (I'm dead serious--the natural dye (beet juice) they use in the purple goldfish makes them taste even better than the boring gold goldfish), gingersnaps, s'mores, pizza, green olives, mushrooms, pita chips and hummus, dried fruit, applesauce, turkey bacon, jalepeno cheddar poppers, Nutella, key lime pie (...or any kind of pie, really), almonds, and of course, Swiss Cake Rolls.

...to be continued.