I agreed to do VBS with my church this summer. That doesn't sound like that big of a deal because I've done VBS in summers past. They keep putting me in crafts, and I keep forgetting to tell them that I'm bad at crafts. You'd think that after two years of watching me be bad at crafts and having evidence in both photograph and video form of my badness at crafts, they'd know that I'm bad at crafts. I guess they just can't find anyone better who is willing to wrestle with glue dots while "leading" a table full of wild and crazy kids who are hyped up on popsicles.
This year, not only am I doing crafts, but I'm not doing preschool crafts. I'm doing crafts with the regular aged VBS kids, which is a lot more different than I originally imagined. Not only am I doing crafts with the regular aged VBS kids, but our church is doing this whole experimental thing where we use our church's kids as VBS guinea pigs before taking our VBS out into some trailer parks in the community. I'm not saying it's a bad idea. In fact, I LOVE this idea. I'm excited about it. It's taking ministry to a whole new level. But...it's just new and different, and you may have picked up that I'm not exactly good with new and/or different things.
Here's another thing I'm not good at: leading. I'm a born follower. I can be in charge of a group of kids or whatever, but it's a whole different matter to be "leading" crafts for a very different VBS. This whole experience has reminded me that I'm not leadership material at all.
In fact, just earlier today, someone was asking if I'd ever consider being a children's director at a church.
I said, "Have you ever seen me in ANY kind of leadership role?"
My friend said, "No."
I replied, "There's a reason for that."
I have no organizational skills. I have very little focus. I get overwhelmed with minor little things, but I'm FAR from being detail-oriented. In fact, I'm not even sure what "detail-oriented" means. I'm basically the sort of person who likes to be told what to do. Step by step. Draw me a diagram. Then hold my hand while I'm doing it, please!
I mean, I often am the administrative person at work. I open most Saturdays and "lead" the shift. But let me just point out that I've been working with this company for over five years...so it's not new and/or different. Leading a Saturday shift at a drop-in childcare center just basically means that I try to keep all the kids from killing each other.
But all of the sudden, I show up for VBS and I'm handed a name tag that says, "Ruth Campbell: LEADER." That is a scary, scary looking name tag.
If I'm wearing such a name tag, average innocent bystanders might assume that I'm actually in charge of something. They might assume that if they ask me a question, I'll know the answer. What they don't know is that I'm the sort of person who can't make up her mind on the spot about anything. Seriously, I was in a restaurant last night and the server asked if I wanted a drink refill. I told her I had to think about it. Apparently, I wasn't sure whether I was thirsty or not and couldn't make the commitment to having a full glass of water in front of me...
But you know, it's NOT really that big of a deal. Yes, I'm a follower in a leadership role. It happens sometimes. Let's just be glad that this time, it's a minor leadership role. No kids are going to be scarred for life if, under my "leadership," they end up having to take home a lame craft. No kids are going to die if I stumble and stutter while trying to reemphasize the Bible story for the night. No kids are going to hate my guts forever if I'm not the absolute best craft "leader" in the whole wide world. Maybe I am just a craft "leader" because no one else was willing to wrestle with the glue dots while trying to control a table full of wild and crazy kids who are hyped up on popsicles. And maybe just being willing to do something like that is qualification enough to make a follower like me a leader...temporarily. It's not about me anyway, but about what God is going to do through all of us who are making ourselves available. I like following Him, and I've heard He's a big fan of leading...
But generally speaking, the idea of me being any kind of leader is scary. But...I'm not just any kind of leader for VBS...
I'm a leader WITH SCISSORS! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Fear me.
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