SAA Ep. #66: What WE Learned In Preschool Today

If there was ever a time when I didn't refer to a toilet as a "potty" or a minor injury as a "boo-boo," I really can't remember when it was.  Working with small children for the past decade or so has definitely taken a toll on my vocabulary.

Sometimes I get the impression that childcare workers believe themselves to be royalty.  Maybe it's because we get to boss our little "subjects" around all day.  I don't know.  But it seems strange to me that every single childcare worker I've ever met uses the "royal we."  "WE don't hit our friends.  WE keep our shoes on at school.  WE share our toys with everyone.  WE keep our food to ourselves.  WE always listen to our teachers."  Um...why do I include myself in all those directions? 

I suppose it helps the kid relate to the teacher if the teacher is including herself in the direction.  If the kid believes that the rules are for everyone, he or she might be more likely to obey.  But probably not.  And half the time, when I'm using the "royal we," I'm not even being honest. 

"WE don't throw fits when WE don't get our way."

Actually...yes WE do.  And when WE do, WE have to go sit in the crying corner. 

I have one in my bedroom.  It's awesome.

Since I work with particularly small children, I like to play a little game with them--mainly because I can get away with it.  This game is called, "LET'S use ridiculously big words for no apparent reason and see what happens."  Like the other day, we were talking about shapes.  My one and two-year-olds kept bringing me shapes from the shape-sorter.  They brought me a red circle, so I said, "Look!  A red circle!"  They brought me a blue square, so I said, "Look!  A blue square!"  I think you get the idea.

Well, then a kid brought me another shape.  I'm not sure how this one ended up in our "basic preschool shapes" shape-sorter, but there it was.  So I said, "Look!  A yellow trapezoid!  Can you say 'trapezoid'?"  Most of the kids just smiled at me, because they're smart enough to know I was just being weird again (they catch on quick).  The youngest of the group, though, raised her one year old chin in the air and exclaimed, "BLUP-BLE-BO!" 

Close enough, kid.  Close enough.  My bad for trying to teach you middle school geometry when you're not even out of diapers.

I also like to have in-depth conversations with this particular child about the artificial sweeteners in her yogurt.  I gotta say, she's a good listener, but she doesn't have much to say about aspertame or sucralose.  Probably because her mouth is too full of said artificially sweetened yogurt.  ...or because she's not even two yet.

Sometimes I really get a kick out of the things I hear myself saying while working with small children.  There was one day in particular when I had to use the same phrase in THREE different childcare environments on the SAME day.  It's not a phrase one normally even uses once a day--or ever.  The phrase, "It's not nice to sit on your friends."  Yes.  Yes.  That SHOULD go without saying.  It must have been "Sit on Your Friend Day," and I missed the memo.  Again.  Just wait till next year, when "Sit On Your Friend Day" rolls around again.  Save a spot for me...on your face.

But today at preschool, I think I said the most amazing thing ever. 

What did WE learn in preschool today?

"WE can't just go around taking babies from people and putting them in OUR mouths."

Preschool lesson #1: Kidnapping is bad.
Preschool lesson #2: So is cannibalism.

I guess it's never too early to learn...