SAA Ep. #44: The Number Four

It's the 44th Socially Awkward Adventure episode, which means absolutely nothing, really, because I just kind of arbitrarily assign titles to these things that have little reason or rhyme.  But since is IS the 44th Socially Awkward Adventure episode, I would like to take a moment to express my gratitude to a very special number.

Four.

Four, I love you.  You are just the perfect number. 

I don't even really know why I feel for you the way that I do.  Perhaps it's the way you almost look like an A, but then you stop looking like an A and become a 4.  Perhaps it's the way you come right after three and right before 5.  Perhaps it's because you're made from four 1s, from two 2s.  Perhaps it's the way two of you become 8, or four of you become 16.  Those numbers, all the numbers that you make are special.  But none is more special than you.

No, number four, I know not why you are my favorite number.  The six year old I watch loves the number six.  In a few weeks, when she turns seven, her favorite number will be seven.  That's predictable.  That makes sense.  My love for you isn't so logical. 

But you are logical, aren't you, my love?  Of all the numbers, you are the only one who has the same number of letters that equals you.  FOUR.  There are four letters in four.  No other number can say that.  Not one, not two, not three, not five, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, not ten.  Just...you.  Four.

I love quarters because of you.  They're my favorite coins.  If I count four of them, I get a dollar.  In a lot of places, I can purchase a soda from a machine with them.  With four of them.  Four beautiful quarters, that together make a whole.

I love the square--how four equal sides combine so...equally...to make such a beautiful, four-sided shape. 

My name even sings your praises, oh beautiful number 4.  My first name has four letters.  My middle name has four letters.  My last name, oh, my last name has eight letters, which is like four, only DOUBLED.  My full name, oh it has sixteen letters.  FOUR, FOUR TIMES.  The perfect equation for a name.

Yes, 4, I love you.  Love has four letters.  I don't think that's a coincidence.  So I'll say it four times.  I love love love love you number 4.


Ahem.

Uh...

So do you have a favorite number?  Do you know why, or like me, are you just weirdly obsessed with a certain number for no apparent reason?

SSA Episode #13: The Woman Who Saved Valentine's Day

It's Socially Awkward Adventure #13! I hope none of my readers have triskaidekaphobia. Yes. I had to look up the correct spelling for that. No, that's not what this blog is about.

Have you ever wanted to do something nice for someone (or a group of people), but you lose track of time and find yourself scrambling at the last minute, and by the time you realize that it's too late to accomplish this nice thing, you kind of wish you hadn't thought of doing this nice thing in the first place?

If you could understand what I just wrote, I hope you can answer "No, Ruth. That's just you." Yes, the above scenario is something I have dealt with time and time again. Like, I get this idea that I'm going to make guacamole for a party (seriously...I make awesome guacamole. It's so good I call it "ROCKamole"), then I realize at the last minute that I don't have any avocados, and the only ones I can find in the stores are either too mushy or too hard, and then when I FINALLY find some ripe ones after going to four different stores, I realize I don't have at least an hour and a half to make this guacamole.

Apparently, this blog has a theme today, and this theme is run-on sentences...but I digress...

This post is not about Valentine's Day. Well, it is, but only indirectly. Okay, so it's about Valentine's Day. I mean, sort of...

So recently I saw this card for single people that said something stupid like, "I believe there is someone for everyone out there, and one day you will find yours. Until then, know that I love you and lots of other people do too." Basically, what that says to me is, "Here's a card so you won't feel lonely while the rest of us married people are at home snuggling with our spouses. Enjoy!"

The thing is, I'm really NOT bummed about Valentine's Day at all. Not at all. I haven't been for several years...and I've been single for several years. In fact, I've only been "with" someone for one Valentine's Day out of my whole life. But I'm not into that whole "Single Awareness Day" or whatever. It's Valentine's Day. I love Valentine's Day! Do you want to know why?

It's because I love kids. I mean, maybe if I had a significant other, I might just think Valentine's Day was all about showing my love to him. But...somehow I doubt it. I mean, all these froo froo hearts and flowers just don't make me feel romantic. They make me feel cutesy. Kids are good with cutesy.

I love getting those perforated valentine's cards to give to the kids in my life. I love putting together Valentine packages for my nieces and nephew. I love putting heart stickers all over the place. I love reading conversation hearts and just being flat out sickeningly adorable. I love Valentine's Day. And the greatest joy to me every Valentine's Day is giving cards/presents to the kids I love.

So...

Late last night I got this idea that I wanted to get individually wrapped rice krispies treats for the kids in my preschool class. We were having a Valentine's party today, so I thought it might be a nice gesture. I figured I had PLENTY of time to run out in the morning and get some rice krispies treats from CVS. Only CVS didn't seem to have any rice krispies treats--at least not that I could see. And CVS is pretty hopping on random Thursday mornings, especially when the ground is covered with a very light dusting of snow that will have completely melted away by noon--because in the South, if there's snow, that means everyone needs milk and bread immediately and at the same time, or the world will explode in a rainbow of heart-shaped confetti. So I couldn't ask anyone where the rice krispies treats were because all the employees were busy helping people find bread and milk that didn't seem to exist anymore.

No big deal. I had a plan B! There is a grocery store right around the corner from where I work. So I went there. I was still a few minutes ahead of schedule. It was awesome. I'd run in, find the rice krispies treats, and self-check my way out of there to arrive on time to work in a blaze of rice krispies treats glory. Only I couldn't seem to find the rice krispies treats at this store, either. I was browsing the snack aisle (a logical place to find...ya know...snacks), when I ran into one of the minister's wives from my church. I thought she was amazing before, but listen to this:

She greeted me. I explained my dilemma. She said she thought that the rice krispies treats should be with the snacks, too (logical place, that's all I'm saying). Well, I had to run because by this time I was late for work, so I figured the rice krispies treats were just not meant to be.

Alas. My quest for the rice krispies treats had come to an end. I had failed.

But, I say again, listen to this...(or read this...because it's written and not spoken...whatever...)

As soon as I got to work, I got a phone call from the minister's wife. She had found the rice krispies treats and was bringing me a box! I mean, she was like a super hero. The day was saved! She saved Valentine's Day!

You know how there are all those stupid movies out there about somebody saving Christmas? Ernest Saves Christmas. Noddy Saves Christmas (who's Noddy? Idk.) Elmo Saves Christmas. Dora Saves Christmas. Diego Saves Christmas (wasn't Dora enough?? Apparently not). Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas (I might actually watch that one). Rainbow Brite Saves Christmas. Felix the Cat Saves Christmas. Mater Saves Christmas. Your Mom saves Christmas (I might have made up that last one). Me thinks I should do a blog on "...saves Christmas" movies. Ya know...like sometime around Christmas...because right now it's around Valentine's Day...

Yeah, so anyway, they should make a movie about the lady who brought me rice krispies treats. They should call it "The Woman Who Saved Valentine's Day." I'd watch it.

I'd watch it because I lived it.

...and I still have half a box of rice krispies treats to prove it.