There are certain ideas most people have when they think of the childcare field. Some people might have happy images in their minds of happy children sitting in a happy circle around a happy teacher, while happy songs are happily being sung about happy people who like happy things and think happy thoughts.
Yeah. I’m not sure where some people got that idea, because in reality, working with children is kind of like living inside a blender.
While I truly love all of the childcare jobs I have, and I love the children I watch, there are definitely some drawbacks. Most of these occupational hazards, as I like to call them, are pretty obvious. Kids whine. They fight. They cry. They poke and tap and jab at you with their persistent little fingers. Their bodies leak various liquid-type substances. They play with poo sometimes. They make messes when they eat. They get into stuff. As Shawn Spencer (seriously, I am far too addicted to Psych) once said, “I think children are sticky.”
But in the past several years of working with children, I’ve noticed that there are some other occupational hazards involved in the childcare field. These are occupational hazards I did not anticipate. I will now list and briefly discuss five of these unforeseen occupational hazards. And you will now read them (if you want to). And I will now stop stating the obvious for no apparent reason….
1) Leading the Monkeys
My love of all things Dragon burst forth in abundance earlier this year, as we celebrated the “2012: The Year of the Dragon.” I went a little crazy (who me?) and did Dragon crafts and coloring sheets with the kids at work. While passing out the Dragon coloring sheets, I was talking with one of my coworkers. I said, “I wish I had been born in the ‘Year of the Dragon.’ I was born in the ‘Year of the Monkey.’”
My coworker smiled and happily exclaimed, “So was I!”
I looked at my coworker very carefully and did some mental math. I knew there was no way she was my age, but I didn’t realize how large the age gap was. Tentatively, I asked her, “You were born in 1992, weren’t you?”
She nodded enthusiastically.
I nodded, but not quite so enthusiastically. “I wasn’t. I was born in 1980. So that means I’m twelve years older than you are.”
One of the kids shouted out, “HEY! I was born in the ‘Year of the Monkey,’ too!”
“2004?” I asked him.
He nodded.
“Great,” I said. “I’m twenty-four years older than you. There are three generations of ‘Year of the Monkey’ people here. And I get to be the oldest.”
The kid said, “You’re so lucky! The oldest monkey gets to be the leader of the group. I saw that on Tarzan. So you get to be the leader of the monkeys.”
“Just what I always wanted,” I said. “Yay me.”
Unforeseen Occupational Hazard #1: Feeling Old.
2) Can I Call You ‘Mommy?’
Since I’m not quite as young as I used to be, I’m finding myself in a really unusual predicament. A lot of the parents of the kids I watch are now younger than I am. This isn’t really that big of a deal, but it leads to some awkwardness.
Maybe it’s because I don’t feel like a grown up because I’m not married and don’t have kids of my own, but sometimes I feel a little uncomfortable calling parents by their first names. Even if I’m older than the parents, I sometimes feel younger than them because they’ve got all this responsibility that I don’t have. So sometimes I don’t really know if it’s okay to call a parent by his or her first name.
One of my coworkers likes to just refer to all parents as ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad’ so she never has to use their names at all. When greeting a parent, she says, “How’s Mom doing today?” or something like that. Most parents don’t mind that at all, but I don’t like it. I just feel a little more awkward calling someone “Mom” than I do calling them by their first name, unless that someone is my actual mother.
But then, sometimes I have a feeling that this awkwardness goes both ways. I’ve noticed that some parents always call me “Miss Ruth,” even when their kids aren’t around. I guess they don’t know if it’s okay to just call me by my name, either.
There is a parent that always calls me “Miss ROOF,” because that’s what her kid calls me. And I think that’s the most amazing thing ever. Just don’t call me that unless you have an adorable kid who calls me that, or there will be trouble.
Usually, if I’m uncertain, I just don’t address the parent by any name, which can lead to other unforeseen occupational hazards….
Unforeseen Occupational Hazard #2: Awkward Name Confusion.
3) Wait…Parent? Parent who?
Sometimes, while avoiding addressing the parents by any name, I slip into another awkward situation. Sometimes, I slip into this habit even when I know the parents and know how to address them.
Maybe it’s because I’m short, but I have a tendency to look down when I see kids. I look down and talk to the kids, and sometimes I forget to look back up again and talk to the adults. Sometimes I never even acknowledge a parent is there; I speak only to the child (maybe because I relate better to children). What’s worse is when I don’t speak directly to the parent, but instead have a vicarious conversation with the parent while talking to the child.
“Sammy, did your mom take you to the zoo yesterday? Did your mom buy you ice cream? Don’t you just love your mom? Your mom sure loves you a lot. What was your mom’s favorite animal? Were you nice to your mom at the zoo? Did your mom buy you anything at the gift shop? Did your mom like the reptile house as much as you did? I’ll bet she didn’t.” It really is too easy to have a conversation with a parent without even talking to a parent. Scary, really.
Unforeseen Occupational Hazard #3: Developing the Inability to Communicate With Anyone Taller than 4’2.
4) AAAAHHHH! I NEED More Sunflowers!!!!
If I didn’t work with children, I might have never heard of the game “Plants VS. Zombies,” and even if I had heard of it, I would have thought it silly. Okay, so it is silly. The silliness of it did not prevent me from getting completely, hopelessly addicted to the game.
It all started out so innocently. I was watching some of the kids play it, and eventually I understood the concept of the game. I thought it looked interesting, so I downloaded the trial version at home so I could see what it was all about. Big mistake.
I was addicted to “Plants VS. Zombies” for months. Even now, when I see a child playing it, I start getting a little twitchy. If a child isn’t particularly good at it, part of me wants to seize the mouse from their little fingers and strategically plant peashooters that will actually protect my his house from the huge wave of zombies that is approaching.
…and I have to walk away….
I’ve had similar experiences with “Angry Birds,” “Insane Aquarium,” “Feeding Frenzy,” “Fashion Craze,” and “Diner Dash.” …not to mention Super Mario Kart and Lego Star Wars.
This is why I’m not allowed to have a Wii.
Unforeseen Occupational Hazard #4: Becoming a Children’s Video Game Addict
5) Disobedient Children! I told you to STOP growing!
I’ve worked in the same drop-in childcare center for six years. That means that I used to change the diapers of some kids who are now EIGHT years old. Sometimes I tell the kids this because I like to see their reactions. Usually it’s denial.
Yes, I’m blessed that I’ve formed some really amazing relationships with families over the years, but it is heartbreaking to see a child grow from little to big. Kids who once thought I was the coolest thing ever now act as if they don’t even know my name. I don’t know how parents deal with it with their own kids, because I get really emotional about it sometimes. But I feel better when I realize that I’m not the one who’s going to have to pay for their college in a few very short years.
And of course, there are still those rare kids who still think I’m the coolest thing ever, as long as I keep quiet about that “I used to change your diapers” thing.
Unforeseen Occupational Hazard #5: Growing Pains
Are there any Unforeseen Occupational Hazards you’ve noticed in your job (whatever it might be) or in your own child-related experiences?
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