SSA: Ep. #24: Exercising Patience

If you've read any of my previous blogs, you might have caught on to the fact that I don't always play well with others. I think this is one of the reasons I got picked last (or next to last--there was that kid who smelled like cabbage) for all organized games. Also, I was probably picked last because I pretty much suck at sports.

Maybe this is why I'm one of those people who likes to exercise solo. I'm not one of those team sports sort of people. I'm not one of those group walking people. I'm not going to tell you which kind of person I am...because I already told you, and I repeat myself too much as it is.

The only exception to my rule of not liking to exercise with others is when I'm walking in some kind of event--like a 5k. Then, the more the merrier. We're walking for a cause and the togetherness is actually pretty cool. But exercising in general? I want to do it all by myself, Mommy.

Some people are the type that get a lot of encouragement or whatever in walking or jogging with others. I don't understand this. I guess it's nice to have a buddy to hold you accountable or make you feel safe. Other than that, I just really can't think of an upside.

Perhaps there are those who want someone with them so they won't be alone. They want someone to talk with. Okay, but when I'm exercising, I'm usually out of breath. Talking isn't the easiest of activities. I don't really like having to converse between gasps. Also, I kind of like having a good hour or whatever to myself to just think. Usually, my thought processes involve conversations with myself about why I would be a gurlymahn if I didn't keep running another few feet, but still...


I have these ridiculously short legs, too. So it takes me more energy than a long legged person to move my legs. My stride takes two steps for a normal-lengthed-leg person to take one step. So I'm always feeling like my pace is too slow for the other person's. Either that, or I end up walking with someone who doesn't get the concept that I'm walking for exercise. They stroll. I don't like strollers...except for the ones that hold cute kids. Cute kids are awesome.


And I actually DO like walking for exercise while pushing a stroller with a cute kid, but I don't get as many opportunities as I'd like...anyone wanna hire me to push their kid in a stroller? I'm game.



Another thing I really don't like when exercising is interruptions. This is why I don't cross any main intersections while walking or jogging. I don't want to wait for traffic. (Also, I really just HATE crossing the street when there's a lot of traffic. I couldn't handle living in New York. I walk out of my way to avoid busy intersections if at all possible....I may eventually write a blog about my fear of crossing the street). I am fortunate enough to live right next to this beautiful stretch of road with all these old historic houses and such. It's a fantastic place to walk/jog. I am sure that both sides of the street are equally beautiful, but I've only spent a great deal of time on one of them. I run up the sidewalk, and instead of crossing the street, I turn around and run back down the same sidewalk. Usually, this isn't a problem, but I've accidentally almost ran into some other runners. The "oh, we're about to run into each other, so both of us better move out of the way at the same time and in the same direction dance" is even more awkward when you and the other runner are moving really fast.


And I'm not sure if I can say "other runner" because I'm only "a runner" in the technical sense. Sometimes I run. Therefore I am a runner. I can barely run a mile (and sometimes I don't even get that far) without stopping to walk. My running is an odd combination of walking, jogging, and running. So I guess I'm more of a waljogner.


Crossing the road is not the only interruption I've encountered. At least once a week, I run into (almost literally) the crowd of teenagers that doesn't seem to understand that they don't own the sidewalk. I've learned not to expect them to move. I just run around them now, and usually they act like I'm not even there. Maybe I'm invisible to teenagers. Shrug.



Another time, back when I was in college, I had these two Jehovah's Witnesses stop me while I was walking. Dude. I don't care who you are or what your business is. I don't care if it's broad daylight and in a nice neighborhood. It is NEVER okay for two men to approach a lady on the street when she is alone. Maybe if I were a better Christian or something, I would have tried to them about what I believe about Jesus and the Bible, but all I said to them was, "Um, I'm actually trying to exercise here...." And I kept walking. They didn't follow me.



Just to redeem myself a little, I would like to point out that the other day, I actually interrupted myself. There was this elderly lady walking a St. Bernard. Yeah. Not a good combination. Another dog barked, the St. Bernard was startled, and the St. Bernard started dragging the lady down the street. She regained control after getting really shaken up, but I stopped to make sure she was okay. The dog looked up at me, and I realized it thought it was a puppy. That was the biggest puppy I've ever seen, and I told him so. And he drooled, cuz that's what St. Bernards do.


Yeah. I kind of have my own way of exercising, and it's apparently working for me. I'm sure I'd benefit more from a personal trainer or whatever, but I've lost almost 20 pounds since January--and I have lost almost 50 pounds since I decided I was going to lose weight the first time. I'm skinnier than I was when I was a teenager. Which leads me to wonder why there are some people out there who still feel the need to give me diet and exercise advice. Or people try to sell me a gym membership. The reason I bought a used ellpitical (named Jerkface) was so I wouldn't have to go pay to use someone else's elliptical while other people were ellipitcalling all around me. Oh well. I've learned to nod and smile a lot.




Nodding and smiling probably burns a few calories, so I shouldn't complain.

SSA Ep. #22: Sports Frustrated

I may have mentioned here that I'm really not the athletic type. I may have mentioned that I have the tendency to trip over my own feet, painted lines in parking lots, flat surfaces, ...thin air.... Coordination isn't my strong point.

I have been trying to run for the past few weeks. I'm training for a 5K like some real runners might train for a marathon. Last night I actually ran a full 3/4 of a mile without stopping to walk. It was quite an accomplishment for me. That's how pathetic I am.

I am finding that I'm starting to enjoy running a little bit, but running isn't like an organized sport. Runners pretty much run until they stop running. There's not much else to it than that.

But I live in the South and I was raised in the psuedo-South. Down here, if you aren't into sports, especially college sports, then you might as well pin a scarlet letter to your shirt. People here are going to judge you and condemn you. I know this because I don't really like sports that much. I don't like playing them. I don't like watching them. I've been judged.

Sure, I can get a little excited watching a St. Louis Cards game, but I don't get REALLY excited (or really pay attention to how they're doing) unless they're playing in the World Series. So the last time I got really good and excited about sports was back in 2006 when the Cards won the Series. In the meantime, I've just been mostly oblivious to sports. I've been paying attention to *coughmoreimportantcough* things.

Please don't think I'm being judgmental, because other people really get a kick out of football (oops, was that a pun?) and basketball. Other people enjoy watching sports like I would enjoy watching a really good movie. There's nothing wrong with entertainment. I just don't find sports all that entertaining.

Last weekend, I had to take the girls I watch to their soccer games. This was way out of my comfort zone, let me tell you. One of the girls was six, and it's safe to say that she knows way more about soccer than I ever did. I know the basics. I know there's a ball. I know there are two goals. I know the players kick the balls towards the goals and hope to get it in, while a goalie tries to keep it out. That's pretty much all I know. I hear the coaches screaming about offense and defense, but I don't understand a bit of it.

I don't understand ANY sports, to be honest. All the little rules go right over my head. In fact, there's only one sport I really understand. Quidditch, anyone?

While watching the soccer games, I was more concerned about how messy the six-year-old's pony tail looked (I'm not good at styling hair, either) than how well she was playing.

Also, I'm afraid of balls. While I was watching the six -year-old match, my greatest fear was that the ball would get away from the kids and roll over to where I was sitting. Now, I wasn't afraid the ball would hit me. I got over that fear after working in a gym at a church (a GREAT job for someone who doesn't like sports, right?). I got hit by basketballs all the time there. My fear wasn't that I would get hit by a ball. My fear was that the ball would come to me and I would be expected to kick it back to the players.

...I knew that if this happened, I'd get shown up by a bunch of six-year-olds who can kick better than I ever could.

The ball did come my way. More than once. I pretended I didn't see it and let one of the coaches get it. I'm that kind of a person.

I remember back in high school, I used to play on this "just for fun" volleyball league. The "Just for Fun" league wasn't very much fun. I got yelled at a lot. Eventually, I decided that getting yelled at wasn't a lot of fun, and I stopped playing. That was the last time I ever willingly played an organized sport.

Yeah, I figure I'm going to stick to running and leave the organized sports to people who understand them. I have a feeling that even if I understood sports, I wouldn't do well. See, I just don't play well with others.