I never learned to roller skate. Ever.
(Ice skating? Pssh. No.)
I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was fifteen years old and pretty much said, "Man, it's pathetic that you never learned to ride a bike. Go learn now." And I did. I haven't ridden one SINCE I was fifteen years old, and I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to anymore. That's right. I don't buy into that "oh, it's like riding a bike...once you learn you never forget" nonsense.
I tried a skateboard once. Two seconds of that ridiculousness, and I was done.
So when it came time for me to learn to drive, I was pretty sure it was going to be an adventure. And it was. I learned that if I let my dad teach me to drive, I would NEVER learn. He and I are too much alike in too many not-so-good ways, so my driving lessons became shouting matches, and I decided mom would teach me to drive. So we spent a lot of time with me driving in parking lots, around subdivisions, on the main road driving 25 mph in a 55 zone.
And then I figured I was ready for my license. I passed that written test to get my permit so easily, but I didn't do so well on the actual driving test. I failed it. I failed it once. I failed it twice. Third time was finally the charm, and I did amazingly well that third time. The other two failures were not entirely my fault (they were mostly my fault--but one of the people I tested with was really soft-spoken and I couldn't understand what she wanted me to do. The other was a drill Sergeant who screamed at me the entire time and made me nervous), but I think it was good they failed me. I wasn't ready to drive.
When I did get my license, I had a good few years of backing into parked cars and driving into ditches and running into concrete walls. It got so bad that I prayed I wouldn't hit anything EVERY time I started the engine. My poor parents. Those accidents were just bad driving on my part. But then there were all these weird incidents of me getting rear ended while "safely" stopped at red lights, of tires just going flat for no apparent reason. And I began to realize that while I definitely wasn't the greatest driver in the world, part of my problem was just that I had bad CARma.
Now, I don't know too much about cars, but I can accurately diagnose a few basic problems. The reason I can diagnose these problems is because I have had a LOT of car trouble in the fourteen years (or so) that I've been driving. I've had alternators go out and brakes just completely disintegrate. I've had bad starters and computer malfunctions and leaky radiators that make my car look like it's on fire. I've even had my cruise control go bonkers and try to kill me...that was fun.
I've probably ridden on a tow truck about a dozen times. AAA is a necessity for someone like me.
Well, I had to take my car into the shop this week--for an annual inspection which is required by law in NC. I knew it wouldn't pass inspection because that silly check engine light was on. It needed some work done that wasn't too outrageously expensive. But I also needed new tires, an alignment, etc. So I ended up paying about $500 on auto stuff in two days time. Ouch.
And because I knew my car needed work, I had a friend/coworker drive me to work yesterday. We got done working and got in her car. It wouldn't start.
Apparently, bad CARma is contagious.
It is also apparent that I need to marry a mechanic. Taking applications...
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