SSA Ep. # 30: The Low Blood Sugar Monster

Today at work, I got really hungry.  I've been dieting all year...and I dieted a lot last year until Thanksgiving and Christmas took over my eating life.  Anyway, I've kind of had a rhythm going.  Breakfast, snack, snack, (late) lunch, snack, snack, dinner, then NO MORE EATING TILL BREAKFAST TOMORROW.  I've known exactly how many calories to eat and exactly when to eat them.

But lately, I've gotten pretty close to my weight loss goal.  I wouldn't mind losing another five or ten pounds (preferably ALL from my tummy and/or thighs).  But I'm starting to notice that my body is changing a little.  It's shifting from "OH HECK YEAH!  LET'S BURN OFF ALL THIS FAT!" mode to "actually, we kind of would like to keep just a little of this fat, if that's okay with you" mode.  What that means is that I'm getting hungrier.  My body is demanding more calories. 

But I'm a creature of habit, and today I just didn't want to deviate from my snack/meal routine.  The problem was, I was at work with a whole lot of little short people (aka children) running around.  And I got hungry.  I got very hungry.

No worries.  This story does NOT end with me eating a child.

But it did end up with me turning into the Low Blood Sugar Monster.  This monster is no where near as fun as the Tickle Monster...or the Hug Monster...or the Brainzzz-Eating Monster.

Yes, today, without warning, I turned into the Low Blood Sugar Monster.  Well, okay...so there were warnings.  For one thing, I was ravenously hungry, and should have, well, eaten something, instead of being so determined to stick to my eating schedule.  Then, I was also ridiculously cold.  I'm usually a pretty hot-natured person, so the fact that I was having to steal a kids' blankie to trap in my body heat should have clued me in that there was a problem.

And then came the really interesting part.  One of the other grown-ups was trying to tell me that one of the kid's parents had come.  I heard her the first time she said it, but I couldn't find the child.  So I started walking towards the front of the room to see if the kid was up there.  The other grown-up kept saying "So-and-so's mom is here" as if I couldn't understand her.  I nodded to let her know I understood.  Again, this grown-up said, "SO-AND-SO'S MOM IS HERE!"

Well, the Low Blood Sugar Monster came out in full force.  "I KNOW!" the Low Blood Sugar Monster growled fiercely.  "I CAN'T FIND SO-AND SO!"

The other grown-up realized that I had transformed from mild-mannered child care professional into a dangerous beast of some sort, and immediately left the lobby area to join me in the play area.  She was probably running an escape plan in her mind..."How do I get the kids away from the evil Miss Ruth without alerting her to my plans?"

Then she pointed.  Little so-and-so whose mom had just arrived was standing directly behind me.

I decided it was time to go have a snack.

Later, after my blood sugar and sanity had returned to somewhat stable levels, the other grown-up described the Low Blood Sugar Monster scene to me from her perspective.  It was frocked with humor.  That's right, I just used the phrase "frocked with humor."  Get over it. 

She described the Low Blood Sugar Monster as looking somewhat like a bag lady, with her hair tossed up into a messy bun and a raggedy child's blanket around her shoulders.  She didn't seem to have a very good grasp of the English language since she didn't realize she was supposed to be getting a child that was standing directly behind her.  When she attempted to communicate, her "words" came out in a series of loud, angry, gutteral growls.  She was like a mental patient.

All in all, I'd say the Low Blood Sugar Monster would be a LOT of fun at parties.

On a side note, when I finally did get my snack, this kid came up and asked me to help him with a Wii game.  I told him this:

"Have your parents ever told you that it's dangerous to disturb an animal while its eating?"

The kid shrugged.  "Yeah."

I smiled sweetly at him and said, "Well, don't disturb me while I'm eating, either.  I will be with you in a moment."

I think I need to start upping my calorie intake, lest the Low Blood Sugar Monster make another appearance.  Hooray for eating more!